The full (ie huge) 3Tards website with tons of photos, video, audio and all kinds of crap.

The 3Tards MySpace page


3Tarded video
Full production video for 3Tarded

Bigger The Better live video
from the Kathedral, Jan 16 '04


Buy The 3Tards - 'Crystal Balls' CD online

WP019 Buy it online

The 3TARDS - 'Crystal Balls' CD

With the release of Crystal Balls, the follow-up to their 2004 debut CD Greatest Hits Volume 2, the 3Tards have brought their infectious brand of humor and driving punk rock to a whole new level. Expect 2006 to be the year of asscore.
Released December 3, 2005

Crystal Balls
Stuck On You

1. Over The Top
2. Stuck On You
3. Big Dog
4. Girl Drink Drunk
5. The Phone Call 6. Crystal Balls
7. Knife To A Gunfight
8. Sodomy Road
9. New Punk
10. Rooming House Blues
11. Man Rapist



NOW MAGAZINE, December 1, 2005

Toronto Sun, December 1, 2005

Buy the 3Tards - 'Greatest Hits Vol 2' CD

WP015 Buy it online

The 3Tards - 'Greatest Hits Vol. 2' CD

The debut CD from the 3Tards, released April 24, 2004! Recorded at Sound Foundation by Wounded Paw.
13 tracks. Enhanced CD - CD-Rom portion includes live video, photos, bios, thanx and MP3s from all Wounded Paw releases.

The 3Tards - 3Tarded

1. 3Tarded
2. Hooked On Hydroponics
3. TseTse Fly
4. Hell Fart
5. Bigger The Better
6. Direct TV
7. She Slapped Me
8. Loser
9. The Mullet
10. She Males
11. Gay Heavy Metal Singer
12. Little Dog, Big Dick
13. Bonus track: Sunday Night in Hamilton with Megan Dove

"Fasten your seatbelts boys and girls, here come the 3Tards!
Classic hardcore punk/metal in the vein of the Dayglo Abortions/ Plasmatics/ D.O.A., the 3Tards are tight, humorous and totally fucked. A relentless assault of guitars and drums (courtesy of former Sacrifice sticksman), form the perfect foil for their off the wall often Hilarious lyrics, delivered with a level of musicianship and passion rarely encountered since the mad/bad 80's.
Masterfully produced by Murdersquad's Preston Sims, "Greatest Hits Volume 2" is a powerhouse of infectious/ infected Rawk - coupled with their outrageous live shows, expect the 3Tards to become the ASSCORE gods of the North. " Troy Sinister


This is not some COCKNEY REJECTS parody, as the CD title might suggest. When questioned about this the band pleaded ignorance. In fact, the band have more of an appreciation that spans the worlds of DAYGLOW ABORTIONS and SLAYER or even the drummer's old band SACRIFICE. Prior to any of this knowledge the 3TARDS reminded me of a modern day EPILEPTIC BRAIN SURGEONS - technically proficient and super witty. The 3TARDS are of the school of MY DOG POPPER, but with the ability to throw in cheese metal amidst a melodic driving brand of hardcore. Playing what they also refer to as "asscore" the 3TARDS also remind me of the zaniness of the MUSCLE BITCHES. John, the vocalist, sounds like the guy from TH'INBRED or Jeff Beardall of GUILT PARADE. And lyrically there are so many cock rock references as in "The Mullet" and "Gay Heavy Metal Singer" that the band's metal side is exposed. But whether it is the Zappa inspired guitar work of Mike Tard or the RUSH inspired drumming of Gus Tard or the Dayglo inspired side of Fox Tard or the S.O.D. inspired side of John Tard, the 3TARDS have put together a gut splitting debut release. All rise for the court jesters of hogtown.